it was late sunday afternoon, nice warm day. sheldon the manager radioed me to go check on room #339 he was concerned because he said she had called the office but was incoherent, he thought she might be having a stroke. i made my way up the stairs, feeling the warm sun on the back of my neck, hands. i hurried up not knowing what i would find as is the case in the strange hotel business. finally standing in front of #339 i knocked loudly and called out "maintenance!" i heard movement, then slowly the door opened a crack and pale skin and blue eyes peered out at me, she was mid 30's fair with blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. i said "sheldon our manager called me to check on you, he said he couldn't understand you on the phone and was worried you might be ill, are you ok?" it was very hard for her to make eye contact, she kept her head down even when she looked at me, she nodded yes. she was trembling. i asked to come in just to make sure everthing was alright. she reluctantly opened the door for me to enter. i surveyed the room, quick to not put her off. uneaten sandwich in the garbage and a smirnoff "ice" coctail getting warm on the nightstand. i then focused on her. your trembling! are you cold? should i turn on the heat? she shook her head no. i looked her straight on and i said whats the matter? putting my hand on her shoulder, the second my hand connected she sort of relaxed into my hand and tears came to her eyes, she managed to get out " a divorce, child custody, my little boy..." her breath hitched and her eyes welled up, she was still looking down and it made me feel as if she were all folded up like origami, and as fragile as a christmas ball.
she had been crying, but she was coherent, i hoped that was all. i asked if she was taking any medication and she stood up a little and said "lexapro, i think i accidentally double dosed, thats why i don't feel good, but i will be ok it's hard to try and get it all together when you havn't worked in years." i told her that the worst was over and it had to be uphill from here, when she made it through this she would be bullet proof, and i smiled at her my hand still on her shoulder. she was convincing, what i didn't know was that about an hour before she had swallowed a whole bottle of tylenol extra strength and her liver was going fast, i didn't know...

i offered to get her something else to drink, a coke? she said that would be great, i went to the door and looked back at her "there is a program called NEXXUS for displaced women, they give you a place to stay as long as you are not doing drugs or drinking and they will train you to get back into the work force. i will find the phone number for you." she nodded again. i said i would be back in a few minutes and opened the door. sheldon was standing there with his eyebrows raised like whats going on, i realized i had not radioed him. he poked his head in her room and he said i could not understand you on the phone, so i sent julie here to see what was wrong, is everthing alright? she told him what she had told me and he and i left her room at the same time. sort of relieved he went back to the office and i went to my room to get a coke for her. i was thinking about lexapro.... what do they prescribe it for again? i know obsessive compulsive disorder is one thing but i couldnt remember what.... i got to my room got a coke out of the fridge and saw my laptop, i could look it up on the internet. i punched it in L_E_X_A_P_R_O hit search and the screen filled up with info... my eyes scanned down and then hit on something that made my breath catch, DEPRESSION. i ran out my door to #339 coke still in my hand, standing there knocking, saying maintenance loudly, i couldn't wait. how long had it been 15 mins? longer? oh god, i hoped it wasn't what i felt it was, but i knew and i felt stupid like i had failed at a really big test here! i used my universal key, red light with green the deadbolt was thrown, oh god no. i took my 5-in-1 tool out of my back pocket and slid it in the door up to the latch and pushed it as hard as i could, the latch let go and i entered the room, she was in the bathroom there was black vomit all over the side of her face, it was all over the room, she looked at me as if she didn't know what was happening, i got her by the hand and took her to the bed, sat her down picked up the phone dialed 0, when sheldon answered i said call 911, suicide room #339 i'm here with her now hurry sheldon. he started to say "but" then the line was dead... i looked at her she was shaking horribly and she wasn't there, in her eyes, you know i can't describe it but she just was not there. thats when i decided that if ever i thought of the word "hopeless" i would forever see her face as "the meaning of" she started to slump over on the bed, and i said "oh no you don't! your little boy needs you!" i put my cold coke still in my hand up to her cheek, this had an effect, a jolt sort of her eyes focused just a little on mine. i said it louder "your son needs you! you are not doing this!" the phone rang, i picked it up sheldon said "it's the 911 operator stay on the line with her they are on the way" a womans voice saying do you know what she took? i was still holding the coke to her cheek, holding her up, holding the phone, keeping eye contact with her, she looked at me confused. i said i didn't know for sure but it could have been lexapro. she was fading, slipping away. i told the woman on the phone "hurry!" then i sat her back up straight and said it again loud "YOUR SON NEEDS YOU!" i held the coke to her cheek once again, the jolt and look of confusion. the woman on the phone said "good, keep her here honey! they're almost there." my god can one minute seem like forever! i don't know how long it was but we kept up this game, each time she became less and less responsive. then a knock at the door and it pushed open, the EMTS came in and were at her side doing the things EMTS thankfully should, she looked at me moving behind them and it was like she was asking me if it was going to be alright with her eyes, i said "you are going to make it, everything will be fine." this seemed to give her some ease, reasure her i guess. i don't know for sure if she is going to make it or not, but it was the thing to say. they hooked her up and moved her out to the ambulance, they asked what she took and we looked for evidence but found nothing... i repeated what she had told me, lexapro, accidental double dose etc. lies, i didn't know what she had taken i entered this drama a little late for that info. i asked if she would be ok? they couldn't anwser, they said they hoped so, i said me too. me too. we were standing out on the 3rd floor balcony, sheldon and i. he said "how could we know for sure? she seemed ok." my radio chirped and the head housekeeper came on, "housekeeping to maintenance over."
i answered back "this is maintenance, go ahead." "room #224 has a backed up toilet" i looked at sheldon and he smiled, i said "10-4" back to the real world...